Harry Potter: Fairy Tales
by Ingy
Summary: Tale 1: Hermione is captured in the Astronomy Tower by the evil Malfoy. Can Harry save her? Tale 2: The Weasleys go for a walk to cool down their porridge, when Hermione Granger walks by. Please read and review!
1. Harry Potter and the Captured Girl

**I don't own Harry Potter or anything Rowling has created in any way.**

**Author's note: **Hi all! This is a silly little fic that popped into my head and I decided to write it down… please read and review! ;)

Harry Potter – The Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, on a school far, far away, there lived a boy called Harry Potter. But he wasn't a normal boy; he had magical powers and the school he went to was a magic school called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He also had survived the Dark Lord, You-Know-Who, popularly called "Voldemort" by Harry and the other ones who did not fear to call his name (Harry's best friend Ron feared his name, so he called him "You-Know-Who"). Harry was sorted into the house for the brave at this magic school; Gryffindor. He was a very popular boy, though he wasn't really _that good-looking: he had jet-black, messy hair which only existed in a mother's nightmare; he had round glasses; he was skinny, and had bony hands and legs; he had bright, bright emerald green eyes (he had got them from his mother); and on his forehead he had a red scar shaped like a lightning-bolt. He had got this scar from You-Know-Who (Voldemort). Harry Potter was almost Godric Gryffindor himself, brave and noble and all that. _

In the Astronomy tower in this school, a fair young lady called Hermione Granger was captured by the evil boy from Slytherin: Draco Malfoy. Hermione didn't look like a rabbit anymore, since she had made Madame Pomfrey, the school nurse, make her teeth smaller when Draco Malfoy had made her teeth larger than they already were with a spell (_Densaugeo). So, Hermione Granger was a very pretty girl, with large brown eyes and matching brown, wavy hair. Draco Malfoy had captured her in the Astronomy tower because he wanted to marry her, and he had guarded it with three of Hagrid's Blast-Ended Skrewts. At the moment, Draco was out gathering guests for his wedding, because he didn't have many friends. That's why he had to make some new ones. He left the Astronomy tower unprotected (well not completely, since the Skrewts were there) and went to the fearful ride of becoming friends with _Hufflepuffs _(isn't it bad? Well Draco was desperate and he wanted a BIG wedding and then Slytherin isn't enough). _

In the Gryffindor Common Room, Harry had wondered for a long time where his good friend Hermione Granger had been, but now he had heard from some ladies, Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown, that she was captured by the evil Draco Malfoy. When Harry heard this, he got furious.

         "That bastard!" he exclaimed. "I shall go and rescue Hermione from him, and after that I shall take her as my wife, whether she likes me or not!" He told all this to his best friend, Ronald Weasley, also known as _The Weasel or just _Ron_. After he had said all that, he grabbed his broom, a Firebolt, and went on the long and fearful ride to the Astronomy tower._

In the Astronomy tower, Hermione Granger was sitting on the bed in the raw room she was given. She looked out of the window all the time to see if anyone were going to rescue her, but she only saw the Skrewts guarding her. A single tear rolled down Hermione's slightly red cheek, followed by a stream of bitter tears. She sobbed loudly. She didn't care, because no-one could hear her anyway. But then she suddenly heard a voice, shouting;

         "Do not be afraid, Hermione, for I have come to save you- uh oh, SKREWTS!? Damn you, Hagrid – OW!" Hermione watched and listened to his battle out of the window, watched as he took out his sword (yes, he did have a sword) and sliced off the Skrewts' heads (I'm assuming they have heads as well). It made Hermione think of lobsters. Soon, she saw him fly up to her, through the window. His face was cloaked by a dark black hood, so she couldn't see who it was.

         "Hop on, beautiful!" The stranger held out his hand for Hermione, and Hermione walked onto the broomstick. 

         "This looks a little un safe…" Hermione grabbed the stranger's waist and shut her eyes.

         "Don't be afraid," the stranger said. "I'm on my house's Quidditch team."

         "Really?" Hermione said. She felt a little bit safer now, relaxed and loosened her grip on his waist.

         "Uh huh," the stranger nodded but Hermione couldn't see, as her eyes remained shut.

Finally, they got to the ground. The mysterious stranger hopped off his broom and took Hermione's hand, helping her getting off. As Hermione's foot touched the grass, her face cracked into a large smile.

         "Thank you so much," she said, and then remembered she didn't know who this man was. "Who are you?" she asked curiously and looked the stranger in the eye. The stranger took his hood off, shook his hair out of his eyes, and…

         "Ron!" Hermione squealed. Ron's ears went pink.

         "Y- Yeah," Ron said. "I understand if you're a little disappointed right now…" Now the pink spread to Ron's face as well. But Hermione shook her head, and then she threw herself into Ron's arms. Ron hugged her back awkwardly.

         "You _saved me!" Hermione said. She released her arms from him, looking into his clear blue eyes. She moved closer, and they lips met in a soft kiss…_

         "Darn!" Harry Potter said. He'd been watching it all from behind a bush. He held onto his broomstick and glared at Ron and Hermione kissing.

         "I'd say the same thing," Harry heard a voice say from behind him.

         "Malfoy?" Harry said, "What are you doing here?"

         "Just to check if no-one had gone to try and save my love." Malfoy sighed. "But I guess I was too late. Maybe I can boil the Skrewts and eat them for dinner tomorrow or something."

         "Aw, don't look at it like that," Harry said and patted Malfoy's back. "Anyways… you want to go for a coffee?"

         "I don't like coffee." Malfoy shrugged.

         "Neither do I…" Harry smirked, and Malfoy raised his eyebrows. "May I?" Harry held out his arm for Malfoy, and then they walked into the sunset together. 

**Author's note: **silly huh? But you like happy endings right? I do… please review! Cya! 


	2. Hermione and the Nine Weasleys

**I don't own anything JK Rowling has created.**

Hermione and the Nine Weasleys

Once upon a time, in a little house far away from everyone else, lived a large family. There was Mother Weasley, Father Weasley, Eldest Weasley Son, Next Eldest Weasley Son, and The Weasley in the Middle, The Weasley Twins, Little Weasley and Little Weasley Girl. All of their children were popularly called _The Weasley Kids_ because no-one bothered to call them all by their names. Every one of them had flaming red hair and lots of freckles. Every Sunday they went on a walk in the woods just before lunch, after Mother Weasley had made the lunch and the Weasley kids had de-gnomed the garden. This Sunday was not an exception, and after Mother Weasley had made nine plates of porridge, each in increasing sizes (except from the porridge plates for the twins), the whole Weasley family went out for their usual walk. 

In the woods there also walked another person; Hermione Granger, a cute girl with wavy golden brown hair, and for that she was called Goldie-Brown-Locks amongst her friends and family. Hermione had just gone out for a little walk, but then she found out that she had walked too far. She was lost, didn't know her way home, and was extremely hungry and tired. Hermione was very frustrated about this, because she hated it when she wasn't in tip top shape. After a bit of walking, she suddenly saw a cosy little house with a garden full of seeds. Hermione walked to the house, went to check the door.

         "Darn, it's locked!" Hermione exclaimed to herself. But since Hermione was a witch, she got out her wand from her robes. "Alohomora!" she cried while pointing her wand on the door, and it unlocked itself at once. Hermione smirked to herself, pleased with her cleverness. As she walked in, she was shocked of how small it was.

         "Nothing like home," Hermione said critically, as the spoiled little kid she was. Hermione's parents were dentists and they made heaps of money on that. She walked out of the entrance (which was very small) and right into the dining room. There she saw nine plated of porridge, one small, one slightly larger, one larger than that, then one as the same size as the previous one, then one bigger than that, and one even bigger than the previous one, one bigger than the one before, then one extremely large one, and then the largest plate with very little porridge on it, and most of it looked burnt. 

         "Got the rests this one," Hermione said while raising her eyebrows at it. "Hmm, maybe I'll taste some…" Hermione moved to the largest plate with little porridge on it (the burnt one) and took a mouthful of it.

         "Yuck, it's burnt!" Hermione said, spitting slightly on the carpet on the floor. She knew it was impolite, but the house she was in wasn't really pretty anyway. After she had tasted the burnt porridge, Hermione went over to the next plate. She took another mouthful.

         "AAH, too hot, too hot!" Hermione jumped up and down on the spot, trying to cool her mouth down. "Damn poor guys," she said. Then she went to the next plate of porridge. 

         "Ewww, too tasteless," Hermione said, sticking her tongue out. Then she moved on to the next plate of porridge. She took a large spoon and stuffed it into her mouth. 

         "Too… much… sugar…!" Hermione went to the sink and spit it out. The sugar would ruin her beautiful teeth! Since her parents were dentists and all, Hermione had to keep her teeth nice. She could go out and party all night long and her parents wouldn't care, as long as her teeth were in perfect shape. She dried her mouth with the sleeve on her sweater, and then she went to the fifth bowl of porridge.

         "Mmm, this tastes very good actually!" Hermione said and took another spoonful. She just tasted the porridge of the Weasley in the Middle. But just to be sure, she had to taste everyone else's porridge. She went on to one of the identical bowls of porridge. She took a large spoon, and swallowed it.

         "Oh, yum!" Hermione said and took another one. She was very busy eating when – _POP! _

         "What's happening!?" Hermione was suddenly covered in bright, yellow feathers all over her body. "My skin, my beautiful skin!" Hermione shouted fidgety, but then all the feathers suddenly disappeared as quickly as they came, and the floor around her was covered in feathers. Hermione wiped her forehead with her hand, and then she went to taste the next identical porridge plate. She pushed some of the porridge into her mouth and swallowed. 

         "Very good," Hermione said to herself, nodding. Nothing seemed to happen to her either. She ate up all the porridge, and got to the next smallest bowl of porridge. Hermione took a spoon, shoved it into her mouth. She nodded to herself in approval, and soon she had eaten it all up. Now there was only one bowl of porridge left, the smallest one. Hermione licked her lips and was about to start eating, when she felt something pour out of her nose, something red.

         "Ah, nose bleed!" Hermione said. She watched as the blood dripped down on the butter in the middle of the porridge, and the rest on the porridge, making it look like rice-cream with red sauce. Hermione thought it was very gross, and shuddered to herself. Why did everything have to be so disgusting in this house? Grabbing half of the paper roll on the kitchen, Hermione shoved parts of it into her nose, and then she went up the stairs. She was very tired now, and was going to take a nap. First she got into a room where it said _"Mother and Father Weasley". Hermione walked in, and tried the bed, spilling some nose-bleed on it, so she shoved some more paper up there._

         "Too hard," Hermione muttered to herself, she felt her back was hurting from this. She leapt off the bed, and then she got to the next room. It was full of books and stuff like that. Hermione liked it, so she tried it. It was almost perfect, but she went to try the other beds before she decided on anything. After she had been there she went to a room with two beds, it said _"Eldest Weasley Son and Next Eldest Weasley Son". She tried both of them, but didn't like it._

         "Too soft," she murmured, and then walked to the next room, the _Weasley Twins' room. She didn't like it there either; as the first bed was extremely bouncy and shouted "NO INTRUDERS!" and the other bed started squeezing her so she couldn't breathe. Hermione hurried out of there and into a room where it said _"Little Weasley Girl"_. She lay down in the bed. It was quite comfortable actually, but then…_

         _CRACK!_

         "Aah!" The bed has cracked under Hermione's weight. It wasn't that weird, she _had _eaten a lot of porridge after all. She went a little bit more upstairs and got to _Little Weasley's room. But the colours there were so shrieking, orange, orange, orange, so Hermione couldn't bare being in there. She ran out, and down to the room full of books. There she fell asleep._

~*~

After half an hour, all the Weasleys had got home. They were quite happy with the walk, but now they were hungry and wanted their lunch. First, they got into the kitchen.

         "Someone's spit on my carpet!" exclaimed Mother Weasley. "And tasted on my burnt porridge!"

         "Someone's tasted my porridge too!" said Father Weasley.

         "Someone's tasted our porridge too!" The Twins said, but they smirked. 

         "Someone's been bleeding on all my porridge!" Little Weasley Girl started to cry. The Twins grinned.

         "That would be my porridge," the one to the left said. The one to the right grinned, pointing on the floor. 

         "And that'd be _my _porridge," he said. The Twins started laughing.

         "It's not funny!" The Weasley Son in the Middle said, shaking his head. "We need to find out about this… let's follow the blood!"

The whole Weasley family followed the blood, up the stairs.

         "Someone's been bleeding in our bed!" Father and Mother Weasley exclaimed. The Twins smirked to themselves. Up the stairs, they suddenly hear a shriek, so they ran up to see what had happened.

         "Someone's broke my bed!" It was Little Weasley Girl. "Why is this always happening to me?" She started crying again. Then the Weasley Son in the Middle called for them.

         "I've found the sinner!" he cried. "Come on here, will you." The whole Weasley clan rushed down the stairs.

         "Hermione?" said Father Weasley and scratched his head. The girl lifted her head and said groggily:

         "Oh, hello, Mister Weasley." She blushed a little as she wiped her eyes. 

         "Why're you sleeping here?" Father Weasley wanted to know.

         "I was tired and hungry," Hermione said, blushing more.

         "Well that's understandable," Mother Weasley said. "But you could have asked, and I would've made you a bowl of porridge."

         "Well," Hermione said, "I didn't actually know you lived here…"

         "Oh, I see." Mother Weasley nodded. The Twins broke the silence.

         "So, who's up for a quick Quidditch game?" they asked in unison. 

         "Me!" everyone exclaimed. 

And if they've not stopped playing Quidditch, they're still playing it.

~*The End*~

**Author's note: **A bunch of randomness huh? Lol. __


End file.
